click play to use either of these as a soundtrack for this last post on san francisco.
To finish what was begun before:
So tuesday night after we stopped taking pictures we drove back into town and were looking for a night on the town on the wrong side of the tracks. We went back to the phonebooth and had drinks. I had one to many which meant I had 3. We wandered around looking for clubs but found we were in the most definitely wrong part of town that night, and what had been vibrant on sunday now felt sleepy. We wandered and had pizza and I couldn't stop talking. We didn't find any clubs or bars really, and I developed a very good impression of Marky Mark Whalberg that consists entirely of me lifting my shirt and showing my unpretty stomach to girls and singing everybody dance now by c+c music factory. at the time I thought it was hilarious, but then when we couldn't find the car and walked nearly 15 blocks in the wrong direction we all got pretty angry. That was the closest we came to strangling each other, and the whole thing felt like kind of a wash. It made me wish I had a laptop. Again, you could count on talking to people to find out where the cool stuff is, but in my eyes it's easier to just research things online, like for example, what street to be on to find a good club. oh well.
Wednesday morning we awoke with more purpose. This was our last day and we had some things that still needed doing. Thing one was to go to the beach and chill in the morning, just lay in the sun and contemplate the california of it all. to be zen. that was all I really wanted from the day, but we also wanted to go to the sfmoma (san francisco museum of modern art), do a bit of shopping, and to a gallery the fecal face guys were presenting a show at. The gallery was apperantly home to one of the cities better hipster fucksplosions on wednesday night, so the initial plan had been to go and make that our blowout, but as that would make getting an early start to get home on thursday harder that plan was abandoned. We started the day in the city instead, with a giant mexican food breakfast, then we walked to the sfmoma to culture up.
The sfmoma is closed every wednesday it seems, another casualty of our lack of information. Getting a laptop is now a primary concern of mine. Macbook. base model. for sure. This was the lobby, and so we went to the giftstore for a long time, as our day was now wide open.
we decided to just wander around the downtown, and to mostly split up, since we all wanted some time alone.
Tyler and Greg got free etch a sketches as we discussed out plan.
holy god we all wanted to fuck her. It's rude to take pictures of people on the street without asking, but she was just riding by on her bike and I couldn't help it.
These guys rode past laughing like beautiful people laugh in print ads where they are being overwhelmed by fun. I need, I need, I NEED to get a girlfriend. This kind of thing kind of sweetness is what I live for.
I took very few "tourist" photos on this trip, and the ones I did take were half-assed.which I regret in retrospect.
So I bought a coat at h+m. and a sweater vest and a cardigan.
And then we went to the beach and tyler wore my new coat and looked quite like a sailor.
And as we got closer I felt better about everything. The beach is like chemo therapy for the cancer of the mind and I plan to go more often now.
soundtrack change
So totally happy right now.
my heart soars. you can't see it but it's soaring.
it was like all my favourite songs that have that just after the adventure and victory and coming home kinda feel. I think that typer of feeling in a song is best exemplified by the song one headlight by the wallflowers or white surf style 5 by supercar.
I rolled up my pants to splash around in the pacific. This afternoon was my moment, my triumph. I don't want to spoil it with too many words, so all I'll say is that as I stepped into the water everything became everything and life was perfect.
joy. unrestrained joy.
I forgot to bring beach clothes from the camp site. So I was running around in a cashmere sweater and nice jeans. I fell in the ocean.
and then it got even more fun.
And in the morning the sun rose and we left new men. a turning point of sorts. Greg goes back to school to be a teacher, Tyler goes back for one more year to digital animation, and I go back to whatever I want, my options are the same as before but I've never felt free like this. I am free from myself now, when I'm happy now I'm sincere, and the possibilities seem endless now. 13 months in six minutes. I love life.
Love, Grant.
