last night was a very bad night for me, and I said some harsh things. I don't always feel like stabbing myself in the chest, so don't worry about me. I'm leaving the post up, because it accurately describes how I feel at times like that, and maybe that helps me understand. maybe I want anyone who cares to read it, because it says what I want to say to them in person but I never really can when I'm lost in the moment.
more importantly, it says I am sorry that I can't hold it all inside of me and I take it out on those I love, and I am truly sorry for that. I apologize with all of my conscious self for my actions and manipulative egotistical grandstanding. I apologize knowing words will never be enough. Don't forgive me, make it hurt more that I let you down and maybe I can become strong enough to overcome these feelings.
apologies all around.
