it seems like all of a sudden I have nothing to say. does anyone read this?
The three cupcake theory.
In life and art, I subscribe to the three cupcake theory of awesomeness. There are different ways to say it but core philosophy is simple: The point of all things love and be loved and the easiest way to ensure you are loved is to overwhelm people with joy every now and then. Or in short form; Just be a little bit better than people can handle sometimes.
Picture if you will; a person. Throw this person a cupcake, because everyone loves cupcakes, and they have a cupcake and are happy. Throw them another cupcake and now they are thinking wow, two cupcakes is the only thing that is better than one cupcake and i have two cupcakes now. And then you throw a third cupcake and you blow their mind. They already have two cupcakes, one in each hand, and they super happy to have so many cupcakes, and then you throw the third and there is that moment, that spit second of elation as the third cupcake is flying towards them and time seems to slow down as their brain just can't temporarily handle it all, the happiness and the love and the trajectory but it doesn't matter because it could be 3 cupcakes or 3 million, just so long as it's one more than they have hands to catch with then they will be overwhelmed with joy and love you forever and that memory for even longer.
I have been exposed to several examples over the past week. Obviously no one really goes around throwing too many cupcakes at people, but sometimes they make music or movies that are just for a few seconds everynow and then, sometimes just for the blink of an eye, are more amazing than anyone can fathom.
My roomate has been learning guitar for the last few weeks, and was intructed to start with back in black by ac/dc. This kicked off a whole week of watching ac/dc clips and concluding that they are one of the fucking best bands that ever was and ever will be. The amount of energy that band outputs every single show is amazing. Like, flooring. Seeing them at a stadium now is apparently still pretty great, but all the video indicates what is now a super tight rock legend was at one time the most explosive good times bar band ever. Watching clips like this I can't imagine what it would have been like to see them in a club in Australia in time when this type of song wasn't a cliche. The band itself is cupcake one, angus young and bon scott's swagger is cupcake two, and the pagpipe solo, the bagpipe itself is cupcake three, the thing that is just so awesome that you just give up.
Also three cupcake awesome and also one of the best bands out there is les savy fav, who we saw on saturday. Tyler had only heard a few of their songs before hand and had been saying all day how he didn't really want to go, as we'd been playing lego star wars and drinking all day and that had been at least two cupcake and why are we adventuring through the snow to see whatever whatever bands. The openers didn't change his mind at all, and a posse of douches seemed poised to ruin the show with the sheer small minded frat agression/sense of self entitlement/sheer dickbag-osity. Apparently they kind of ruined girl talk too. We were debating whether or not to fight them. Anyway, point of the story is three notes in tyler had his third cupcake in the air. Tim Harrington, the lead singer, is comedy genius who just happens to be one of the best post punk frontmen ever. He came out dressed in a chilean poncho with a fake plastic nose and a winter hat with side flaps, and a huge furry mitten on one hand and the microphone hidden inside a broken kettle. He is also a bald fat guy, atypical of almost all bands that want to be sexy.
The first note of the first song just sets off an a-bomb in the crowd, everyone is instantly engaged and has two cupcakes. The second song is we'll make a lover out of you and the dance/moshpit exlodes and the third cupcake is well in the air. Joy has now been achieved, and i proceed to get the shit beat out of me in the pit. I'm getting old so i can only stay for about the first third, then off to get water and rest, then back in for the last third. Throughout the show more cupcakes keep upping the joy level, Tim wades through the crowd, girls rub up against you, they play super well, and his stage banter is basically him writing loose poetry and short stories as they come to him, and they are weird and funny and about buying fireworks in madison with all her summer money, and shooting them out her bedroom window, or whales and satellites and them requesting songs. They played the sweat descends. it was awesome. In fact I figured it was pretty much the most cupcakes you can have thrown at you in a show, until he says "after this we're going to pretend like we done then come back and play three more songs." and then there's a sing along, and then they say this one is a special request and they play "rodeo", which is my absolute favourite song of theirs but also the first single they ever released, and not a common live song. The night day as a whole has about 9 cupcakes in the air at that point and I'm exhausted. Les savy fav are maybe the third most solid rock band I've ever seen. not quite third best show ever, but fuck they're amazing.
also three cupcakes, lego star wars return of the jedi speeder level, because it's cute, then it's fun, then it's just way to fast to control at all and it's joyous.
also so many cupcakes is the movie "no country for old men". Easily the best movie I've seen all year. every scene is like a third cupcake. woody harrleson is at least two cupcakes on his own, and the cohesive thematic elements and javier bardem being just scary as fuck are just three cupcakes the whole way through. The last scene too, with TLJ bringing it all together (thematically speaking), just left me floored.
Courtenay and I just watched black snake moan and it was three cupcakes. Being a good movie: one cupcake, the music: two cupcakes, every single shot of cristina ricci looking just so ultra hot is more than anyone can handle. It is joy. sam jackson yelling the line, "tell me you love me motherfucka!" followed by smashing a beer bottle next to his brothers head then marking him with his blood and righteous anger is also a cupcake all to itself. and justin timberlake was in it. it's great.
give them joy, then give them more joy than they can understand. it's about being transcendent, or like I was saying to Brad, it's better to blow one mind than amuse a million.
only 2 cupcakes, but also pretty great
low art
despite the fact that they aren't on television anymore ever, and most people don't have the patience to sit through any kind of slow build on the internet, music videos are still resolutely awesome every now and then, and the best ones are often made by amateurs and first timers. This one is my favourite song off the new Radiohead album, mashed up to clips from the film Microcosmos.
This is right up there with my all time favourite amatuer video, for the song "the Funeral" by Band of Horses
The new Radiohead album is awesome. Not that I didn't like parts of their recent experimental work, but it seemed to me like they were writing deliberately inefficient songs. When listening to Kid A or Amnesiac, I didn't feel anything as hard or as deep as when I listened to their previous albums. They seemed to need entire songs to evoke the same disquieted self-reflective emotional state as "Lucky" induced in it's first line, and frankly it seemed like that was the only emotion they were interested in exploring across their last three albums . There are parts of Kid A, and songs on Amnesiac and Hail that I do really love, but I find I rarely listen to them because they just don't "work" on me fast enough. Or rather, that the energy it takes to listen to them greatly outstrips the extent to which I feel enriched or changed because of them. The new album, I am happy to say, is somewhat of a return to efficiency. They are still far from conventional, but they are no longer afraid to write songs that make you feel something directly and instantly.
Also, I think it's worth that noting that what they seem to make you want to do is have sex. There are at least 3 songs on this album that are, I think, designed to be slow jamz. The first time I head Reckoner I couldn't help but picture grainy footage of pasty indie kids with just a touch too much red wine in them awkwardly making out then stumbling towards the bed, tearing off each others scarf's and black rim glasses as they do. Seriously, the second half of in Rainbows is totally for fucking to, and maybe for being depressed as you do. That being said, I love doing it to My Bloody Valentine, and no one else seems to, so clearly I don't understand sexy.
Here's a difficult listen but a remarkably efficient song: New Buildings by Parts and Labour
an even harder listen by Xiu Xiu thanks to the initially abominable but then strangely hypnotic vocals. Both of these songs are highly efficient to me, they say what they want to say and make you feel the way they want you to feel within a few seconds.
and then play Parts and Labour again because it's just such an awesome song.
and then play this because it is the easiest most efficient song to listen to ever. It makes me so pumped for life, even if life that day is just making a sandwich and watching a movie, doesn't matter, with this song I am so happy to be doing it.
It doesn't matter how you find it
so long as you appreciate it once you do.
New bands are constant, music journalism is a joke, all that matters is that you like what you like. Trying to find new music lately it seems that so many sites and blogs are so concerned with being of the moment, of being the newest and the freshest and being over everything before it begins anywhere else that no one seems to actually care about the music they write about.
Sometimes I find bands after they have broken up, or a year or four after they were hip. They are no less worthwhile, just no longer of the moment. It begs the question, are the Rolling Stones or Elliott Smith or Radiohead any less exciting or worthwhile as discovered by a 16 year old today as they were when they were the new, when you found them and they meant the world to you. Certainly the music is still great, but does it mean as much without context?
Here, no context, no reason to play this other than I just found them and this is what's interesting to me right now.
I'm not always there when you call, but I'm always on time
oh wait I'm not that either. here's pictures from halloween. I was a last minute cowboy
This girl gave us whiskey and dr. pepper outside and instantly vanished into myth and myst and self made legend.
Jennie and Alexis were dead cheerleaders, which is so confusing for your penis. halloween is such a mixed blessing.
I don't totally know why, but Kerry practically had the furniture trying to fuck him that night. Knives and knives and knives but my kingdom for a spoon kinda night.
Some how there where 4 count em 4 paper bag princesses that night. Each claimed it just came to them, and the odds of that , of all of them deciding to do that independently are cosmic. The universe is subverted. For a moment I was an mighty oak tree, and you were dew upon the lillies in the field, and then I was a fractal and you were orange juice, and then things were normal again.
Kat was the best and had fun anyway.
Look it's Jackie! She was in one of my one afternoon rock collectives, and then i didn't see her for a year.
not sure how some people didn't pass out, she had a sheep costume.
also not sure why no one else was freaked out that these guy sat there taping for pretty much the whole night and never danced or smiled at all.
Nicole was a very sexy ringmaster.
this guy was astro boy. his costume was booty shorts and gel, and being really healthy. everyone was either aroused or jealous or both.
daft punk guys were pretty much the heroes of the night.
boat hat was also pretty popular
Such crushability. This girl actually talked to me, asking me for this site's address. time to get a domain and some business cards.
and i guess to make this site look cool or so something or stuff. I should probably do that first.
sick sick sick
I was sick starting on saturday, missed some work, was nonsensical to kat, felt like hell. monday I was feeling kinda better and I watched that march of the penguin movie, then i noted that my tonsils were still really really inflamed, and then i went to get a drink of water and i started spitting up blood. I did this for about 15 minutes, then went to the hospital. I got an iv and antibiotics and fluids and stuff and am fine now, but it was a really weird feeling to be feeling mostly ok, then spitting up a fairly alarming amount of blood. I was looking at it as it was happening and was not panicked, just curious as to how I did not feel in any way I should be bleeding like that, that I felt mostly not bad by that point and this wasn't coming from me at all. It was also really weird to be telling the admitting nurse why you are there. It's weird to me that you can say,
"my throat won't stop bleeding"
"anything else? other symptoms?"
"also a fever."
"and"
"that, it. It's mostly just the bleeding really."
and then in the waiting room it started again and I had no sink and it was really gross. The whole weekend was awful and the worst I've felt in years and I don't recommend being sick to anyone ever.
ripping it up like it's 1994, and we are at youth group.
Being unaware of the surprise birthday plan, I made my own birthday party. Throwing a truly surprising surprise party is hard, people always arouse suspicion with their heightened level of excitement, and the act of transporting the surprisee to the party location invariably is littered with clues, or simply contrived enough to tip your hand. In fact, there's really only one way to do it without telegraphing your plans, and it's still not a perfect solution.
Really, if you really really want to surprise someone, you have to go to their house to watch tv or a movie late ish on the afternoon of the party, and while you are there you have to spike their drink with Dimethyltryptamine or a ton of cough syrup, let them trip wildly then drift off to sleep. Then you dress their unconscious body in their party finest (be sure to put lot's of makeupon them, for boys or for girls) and lay them in comfortably lined casket, like the kind people die in. The dimethyltryptamine and the casket may be hard to source but are available if you look hard enough , and that's totally part of the fun. So anyway, load the casket into your stations wagon (you will also need a station wagon or a van for this) and then wheel it and them into the living room at who evers house the party is at and gather everyone around it. Set a small homebrew time released aerator in the coffin to breathe wake up juice onto your friend, then start playing some music and wait for them to stir and throw back the lid of the coffin. Everyone will be shout surprise and you should probably have a banner made as well, or some balloons or something. When they wake up and shake off the sleepy clouds they will be so happy they aren't dead that they will be sort of dazed anyway, that when they realize that everyone has gathered to celebrate their birthday they will not be able to regulate their emotions and will let themselves be overwhelmed with happiness. Ideally this is all done at least 4 months and one year after the actual birthday you are celebrating, so they really don't see it coming.
Plus after cake everyone can ride the coffin down the stairs like a bobsled team. Cool Runnings!
The next best option is just to gather everyone somewhere, park them all down the steet and hide their shoes away from the vestibule, and then have me drive them there, because I am cool as as cucumber, and frankly, I'm very likely to forget as we drive that their is a surprise party waiting at the other end. Or just don't tell me at all. yeah, that's probably easier than the dimethyltryptamine, just don't tell the driver about the party. That's how the CIA would do it.
ok, so my party here was supposed to be board games and pizza and a low key night, and it was. I was amazed at how many people came, we watched friends forever and ate candy and then we played a few games.
Greg and Rayme and Josh had all seen Melt Banana the
night before and all bought Melt Banana shirts, seen here.
Rayme was quite taken with Friends Forever. The way
people react to Friends Forever tells you a lot about that
person. Not necessarily good or bad or useful information,
but a lot of information nonetheless. I can't believe spell
check lets nonetheless pass as a word.
Gord came! He brought Settlers of Catan! He's an a guy
we need to hang out with more before he goes to Uvic.
I challenged Josh to the African stone game, but I kind of
forgot how it worked so he kicked my ass.
You can't see it, but he has a Melt Banana t shirt on
underneath. I didn't go to Melt Banana because it's just
too far out there for me.
Oh yeah, I'm fat and have a beard now. Happy birthday
me, farewell to boyish charm.
Kat took this picture of Kerry, it's kind of adorable. I was
worried that's too gay to say, but Rodrigo gave me a oil
massage and some chamomille and I felt better, then we
talked about how much we love vaginas.
Rita also loves vagina, but just hers.
I'm sure Nicole loves hers too, but I don't think we'd
ever hear her say anything so unmannered. Cool as a
cucumber,that girl.
Thanks to everyone who came, we'll play Catan more now that we understand the mechanics.
what a wonderful world
My incredible friends threw a surprise birthday dinner for me on friday and looked wicked hot in the process. Rita made a cake that was deliscious but the pictures of it and her turned out really blurry. Tyler was also there with his new girl, named Heather. She goes to a school I am interested in going to, having a career and a future and all. I was super happy and full of food.
being older so far didn't mean much to me until I realized that this is the last year I will be a part of the much sought after 18-25 year old male demographic, and most advertising and movies will no longer be targeted directly at me.
Dear Martin and Gary.
Since you are both off the book I have to talk to you this way. Hi. How are you guys? what are your current email addresses?
if you guys are secretly in bc this sunday, this is where you should be.
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